Addicted to You Read online

  But Landon had kissed me. Colby knew that, right? And to top it off, Colby had to see that it didn’t mean anything to me. If anyone would know, it would be him. He’d kissed me. He’d seen what chemistry looked like firsthand. So was he seriously mad? At me?

  My body tensed and my face warmed as I mentally replayed the quiet stare-down followed by the cold shoulder.

  Anger crept its way up through my body, and it took everything in my power to not storm into Colby’s room and tell him exactly how I felt. How dare he be mad at me? It wasn’t like I’d asked for the stupid kiss. And yeah, maybe I didn’t end it fast enough, but that was kind of his fault. He was the one pushing me into Landon’s arms, after all. He’d lit the match that sparked my curiosity. No doubt it was quickly doused but either way, he’d created this mess with all his talk tonight. This had been exactly what he’d wanted of me, right? With Landon? Now he had the nerve to be pissed about it?

  “I’m sorry.” Landon rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit, you look like you’re going to explode or something. I, uh, I’ve been drinking and I thought…well, I thought…maybe? Um, look, I fuc—”

  “No, it’s not that. I mean, I think we need to maybe talk later. But you’ve been drinking and I’ve had a few myself so let’s not worry about this tonight.”

  “But are you mad at me?” He looked down, then peeked back up. “Because you look like you’re gonna tear me a new one.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m just…It’s not you. I need to get going. Taylor’s waiting. But we’ll talk later.” I backed up then called back, “Get some sleep. You’re gonna have your work cut out for you tomorrow.” I motioned to the growing mess and smiled, hoping to show no hard feelings between us, then headed outside to Taylor who waited in her car.

  I plopped in her front seat with about a dozen emotions of my own working their way through me. What had just happened? Landon kissed me. I let him. Colby saw. He got mad. I got mad. Then he got…weird. And Landon—well, we needed to seriously clear up some things. But I had to let him down easy. That was, if he even remembered. But still.

  What a mess.

  I pressed my head into the passenger seat and groaned. “Can we just rewind to the part where I decided to come to this party? Because staying home would really have been the best decision I’ve made in years.”

  “So if I take a guess, will you stab me with the nearest sharp object?”

  I laughed. “Oh my god, are we still gonna do this?”

  “If I were smart enough for my own good, I’d say no, because this is probably going to be like a Pandora’s box of crap we can’t put back…but, honestly, I’m just dying to know now.”

  “What exactly are you dying to know?” I mocked.

  “Well…which one?”

  “Which what?”

  “It’s just that half the night I was going to guess Landon, but then I decided it was for sure Colby, but then…well, I kinda think it’s both. So I’m dying to know which one. Or is it really both?”

  “Wait? Landon and Colby what? I thought the point of the game was to guess who I was interested in.”

  “Yeah. I’m trying to decide if you got all dressed up tonight for Colby or Landon. But a part of me thinks maybe I can’t tell because you haven’t decided either.”

  “I don’t like Landon and Colby.”

  “Are you sure? Not even a little? I don’t blame you if you can’t choose.” She lifted one hand in a defensive gesture. “No judgment. I’d have a hard time choosing one if they both liked me too.”

  “Wait? You think they both like me?”

  “I mean I’m not positive but…yeah.”

  I laughed. Like really laughed, because this night couldn’t get crazier. “Well, I think you’re possibly half right. Maybe…just maybe, Landon has a tiny little thing for me.”

  “It’s not tiny. And I’m pretty sure Colby does too.”

  “Colby and I are just friends. Best friends. People mistake that for something more, I think.” Hell, I sure did. “But that’s it.”

  “You sure?”

  “The friend zone is a hard place to get unstuck from.”

  She nodded as if I’d just answered all her questions.

  “What?” I stared at her wishing my life made as much sense to me as it suddenly did to her. “Why are you nodding like that? I’m so confused right now.”

  “It just all makes sense now.”

  “Care to fill me in? Because I’m not seeing this clearly yet.”

  “Landon likes you. You like Colby. And Colby is stuck in the middle.”

  “How do you know I like Colby? And what do you mean ‘stuck in the middle’?”

  “Just that. I don’t know for sure, but if I had to guess, I’d say Colby has feelings for you. And I think it’s more than just friends, but how do you choose between your brother and your best friend? Either way someone gets hurt, right?”

  Whoa. “Holy shit, Taylor.” I stared at this girl who somehow used her outsider perspective to see deeper than I’d been able to, though I was buried right smack in the center.

  “What?” She gnawed her lip. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. Did I overstep? I do that a lot. I just people-watch and think—too much, my parents always say that—and then I start linking thoughts together but sometimes they make a lot more sense in my head and I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut.”

  “No! Are you crazy? That was amazing. It would make a whole lot of sense and I’m just shocked I hadn’t thought of this sooner.” I turned and stared out the passenger window. “I think I’ve been really hardheaded and selfish about this whole thing.”

  “Selfish?” She half laughed, half snorted. “You’re not a selfish person, Isla. Far from it. I don’t think a single person who knows you would use that word to describe you.”

  “But that’s the thing. Nobody knows about this. Well, except Colby.” I took a deep breath, the truth wanting to escape. The burden of keeping it bottled up for so long made everything seem heavier than necessary, but if I confided in her, maybe it’d help. Maybe she’d offer advice, or if nothing else, just listen. Sometimes the hardest part about keeping a secret was stifling it.

  “Colby and I hooked up.” I blurted. Then immediately regretted my word choice. We did more than “hook up” so why make it sound so trivial?

  “As in…sex?”

  “Maybe? Let’s just say stuff happened and I kind of thought maybe it would lead to more, but it’s just been so weird between us ever since and I’m just not sure what’s going on, but he’s like pushing and pulling and my head is spinning and…I’m rambling. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. You know, I’m not here to judge you. Whatever happened between you is your business, but if you want to talk, I’ll listen. If you want advice, I’ll try to help. I’m not exactly an expert, considering I’ve had all of three boyfriends in my life. My brother tends to scare them off faster than I can date them…but I can at least listen.”

  “Please don’t tell Matt. If this gets out…”

  “Isla, I wouldn’t do that to you. Sure he’s my boyfriend, but first, I’m not totally convinced he even listens to me, and second, it’s not his business. It’s not even mine, but if you trust me enough to confide in me, I’m not going to break that trust. I’m just…well, I’m just flattered you even told me. And kind of surprised. You don’t really talk about your personal life much.”

  “I guess I’m just not used to talking to people besides Felicity, and we talked a bit, but she’s always so busy now that she’s moved away. And I used to have Colby to turn to, but now he is the problem, so I guess I just closed myself off while I tried to sort this all out. Problem is I’m slowly losing my mind. I think talking it out is long overdue.”

  “Well, why don’t you come hang at my place for a bit? You can talk. I’ll listen. And, hey, I have a half pan of brownies with our names on it.” With a small smile, she lowered her voice as she said, “If you’re wondering, yes, I ate the other half, so
please eat some.”

  “You don’t have to ask me twice.” I laughed. “I love brownies.”

  “Clearly, so do I.”

  I smiled as the weight of boy drama slowly lifted. It’d still be there in the morning but at least tonight I could vent, complain, and maybe even do a little wishful thinking. Taylor had no idea how much I needed this. I glanced at her as she turned up the radio proclaiming her love of the current song. Or…maybe she did.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket and I dug it out. The screen lit up with an incoming text.

  Landon: Sorry again about tonight. I drank too much. And that wasn’t really the way I wanted things to go down.

  So did he regret the kiss? Or just the way it happened? I shook my head. This back-and-forth had to stop. I was making myself crazy.

  Me: No worries. We’ll talk later.

  I quickly threw in a smiley face to soften the delivery, then shoved my phone away with no plans to answer any more texts tonight. But then it buzzed in my hand, and like some ridiculous conditioned response, I pulled it back out, knowing there was no way I couldn’t at least glance at the message.

  And because life liked to throw curve balls, the new text wasn’t from Landon.

  Colby: I know you probably don’t want anything to do with me right now, but I have to say one thing: I’ll always support your decisions and as your best friend I hope you always choose happiness.

  No matter how many times I told myself not to reply, my fingers seemed to have a mind of their own. After all, it was Colby. If I was any good at ignoring him, I wouldn’t be here right now.

  Me: Don’t worry. At the rate I’m going, I’ll be single for the rest of my life.

  Colby: If that’s what makes you happy.

  Me: Yeah…funny thing is I don’t actually want to be the crazy cat lady.

  Colby: I doubt you want my advice but if you ever do choose a guy, my suggestion is to choose the one who pays attention when no one else is watching.

  Me: And how am I supposed to figure out who this mystery guy is?

  Colby: He’ll prove it with the little things. Your favorite food, your favorite color, the words to make you smile…

  Did he just describe Landon? Chocolate croissants, Yellow flowers. The note that was left with them. Nothing made sense. He mentioned Landon’s possible feelings, then got upset when he saw us together, yet now he was pushing me toward his brother again? Colby wasn’t stupid. He had to know I had feelings for him so why was he so convinced I should be with Landon?

  Me: And tell me again, why should I choose him?

  Colby: Because he’s the one who loves you.

  Me: What if I don’t love him back?

  I waited for a response but as the seconds ticked by I became doubtful I’d actually get one. And as we pulled up to Taylor’s place, I finally gave up on hearing back from Colby. I tried not to take it personally, considering he’d probably passed out.

  “Everything okay?” Taylor asked as she turned off her car.

  “Um, yeah.” I shrugged but as the corner of one side of her mouth turned down it occurred to me I’d done it again. I was shutting her out to avoid talking about myself. The whole point in coming here was to vent, so why was I bottling this up? I sighed and patted my phone. “I just got drunk Landon followed by drunk Colby texts. When we get inside, maybe you can help me interpret them.”

  “For sure.” She offered a small smile, then added, “Not to minimize your situation, because I know it’s stressing you out like crazy, but if I had to be stuck between two boys, I’m not sure I’d complain too much if those two happened to be Callahans.”

  I laughed because she was absolutely right. There were probably a lot of girls who would give anything to be pinned between the hot bartender and the sun-kissed boat captain. It was like the perfect love triangle, straight out of a movie. Problem was, the reality of being wedged between two brothers, both of whom I loved and cared about, was actually kind of heartbreaking. And a place I didn’t enjoy at all.

  Chapter 15

  The next morning, I rode with Taylor over to Colby’s to pick up Matt on her way to take me home.

  She cracked open the front door and peeked in. “Oh, sorry to barge in. Matt said it’d be open and that knocking might wake you. Didn’t realize you were all up now.”

  “No worries, we haven’t been up long. Come on in,” Colby said from the other side.

  My stomach twisted at the sound of his voice. Our conversation had ended last night with decisions needing to be made, then the whole Landon kiss thing…Yeah, I wasn’t too sure he’d even want to see me now. But after Taylor’s revelation about how maybe Colby felt stuck between his brother and me, I decided not to push for more. I’d let him decide where we stood with no more pressure from me.

  Of course, I’d been told he was sleeping and hadn’t really expected to run into him, but a part of me probably wanted to. After all, I had followed Taylor inside.

  “Hey babe.” Matt kissed the top of her head. “Thanks for picking me up. Let me finish helping out.” And as I came into view, he added, “Oh, hey Isla. Didn’t see you back there.”

  Colby spun around, clearly not expecting me either. My gaze washed over him. His disheveled hair complemented his wrinkled shirt and gray sweatpants nicely. Really. He looked adorable.

  Not really sure how to act, I blurted the first thing to come to mind. “You guys need a bulldozer and about thirty cans of air freshener.” I waved my hand in front of my face. “It smells like a bar at two A.M. in here.”

  “I happen to enjoy that smell,” Landon, who appeared from around the hall, joked. “Always reminds me of closing time and tip-out.”

  And not to compare the two brothers, but I couldn’t not notice the way Landon’s basketball shorts hung low on his hips and the way his broad shoulders bunched as he heaved a black trash bag into the kitchen. He was shirtless, after all. It kind of invited staring.

  Except I shouldn’t be gawking, so I defaulted to sarcasm to hide my thoughts. “Really? Because to me it kind of reeks of desperation and futile attempts to not go home alone.” I shrugged. “But I see how it might grow on you.”

  Landon laughed and I smiled. It really had a nice ring to it. Genuine happiness.

  Colby grabbed a beer can and tossed it into the black garbage bag he was carrying. He looked as if he could get sick any moment. “I’m never drinking again,” he muttered.

  Matt dropped a bag onto the kitchen floor with a thunk. He’d knotted the top. “That’s everything from outside.” His lip turned up in disgust. “And I’ll join you in the never drinking.”

  Taylor chuckled. “Yeah, I’ll remind you of that.”

  “Okay, okay, I’ll drink again but it won’t be for a loooong time.”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  He laughed. “A week. Max.”

  Landon, who’d walked out of the room, came back carrying his own bag and wore the same look of disgust as Matt and Colby. “Who drinks this much beer in the shitter? There were cans everywhere. And did someone sleep in the tub last night? Because there’s a towel in there, and I hope it was used as a blanket and for nothing else.”

  Matt shook his head. “That’s just wrong.”

  “I’m not touching that shit without gloves.” Landon threw up his hands. “Who knows what could be on it,” he shouted as he disappeared down the hall again.

  “I’d throw it away or burn—” I motioned for Colby to open his bag as I balanced a couple beer cans in one hand and an empty bottle in the other.

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Colby stretched the bag wide so I could drop everything in. “Not like you made this mess.”

  “Yeah, but it’ll go faster if we all help.” I scrunched my nose. “Plus, it’s just really gross. The faster we get all this out, the better.”

  He chuckled. But his grin faded as we made eye contact. How much did he actually remember?

  Maybe I could find out. “I’m actually surprised yo
u’re up, considering how much everyone drank last night.” I glanced up ever so slightly, trying to get a read on him.

  “Yeah, we were all pretty drunk.”

  “I figured as much.” I grabbed some paper towels and a spray bottle of cleaner and went to work getting the sticky, grimy residue off the counters. “Probably don’t even remember half the night.” My gaze sought him out again, but he kept his head down and focused on the last bit of trash. Dammit.

  “Probably not. Some of it, maybe, not all of it.” He forced a laugh.

  I glanced around but no one was really paying attention to our conversation, but they were within earshot. “Yeah, you were pretty drunk.” I sprayed the counter in front of him and stepped in closer to wipe it down. “So was Landon.” My gaze lifted, hoping he’d read between the lines: It was only a drunk kiss, don’t be mad.

  He finally made eye contact. His gaze seemed to search my expression, and then he nodded. “Yeah, he was. Probably doesn’t even remember winning the beer pong game…or anything that followed.”

  I smiled, hopeful that we at least got one thing cleared. “I think you’re right.” I stood back and examined the counter. “Much better.” Then I tossed the dirty towels into the garbage bag and grabbed new ones to start the kitchen table cleanup.

  “I think I’m declaring my house a party-free zone for at least a month,” he grumbled.

  “For sure, it’s ridiculous. The guys could at least throw away old beer cans.” I raised a can, shook my head, then tossed it into the trash.

  “Agreed. No parties until after Christmas.”

  “Well, that works out. Just in time for a going-away party!” I joked.

  He turned to me, his expression serious though my tone had been playful, and I regretted even bringing it up.

  Landon reappeared, wearing a shirt, and pointed to the trash bag. “All done with that? I’m taking them to the garage.”

  Colby did a quick scan of the kitchen. “Yeah, looks like we got it all.”

  “Cool.” He knotted the top together then lifted the bag. Glass bottles rattled inside. “This shit stinks. Our friends are pigs.”